She's Adopted

They just didn't tell her

The Ugly Truth

on December 14, 2012

awkward

I wish I could fully understand the motivation of my so called “family” to either refuse to talk to me about my adoption or flat out lie to me saying that they didn’t know anything about it. It really sucks, let me tell you… All I want is a little more information about my origin. a little more than just “your father just came home with you one day… It was a Saturday.”

I don’t want their sympathy (because I know there is none), I don’t want to hear :”I’m sorry for treating you like crap” (because I know they’re not sorry). All I want from them is the truth.

There is no”Original” Birth certificate that I’m aware of it.

All I know it’s written on my current BC,  dated on September of 1975 saying that I was born in November of 1971. There is no other information there,  of any kind,  that can lead me to my truth. My origin.

But the reality is that at this stage of things and after a whole year without any explanation, all I have left to do is to move on with my life the best way I can. And I suppose my upbringing as a adoptee plays the key role in my independence, self-worth and attitude toward family.

Over the years I have  adopted people. And now I consider my self lucky that I have  been able to chose my family, not always wisely I might add. I do think there can be a loneliness, a feeling of being first in line. There are also health issues and curiosity from time to time… I also think there is an independence and sense of responsibility for ones self. It’s like I am starting with a blank slate. No genetic ties to get in the way only what we choose to do with our environmental upbringing.

I grew up finding in my adoptive father and God mother’s family some of the comfort and love and attention that i always expected to receive from my adoptive mother and the rest of her family but never really got it.

My dad passed way a few years ago and I really wish that he have told me the truth when he knew he was dying. He knew how mean and aggressive my mom was towards me when I was growing up  and he kept his silence and the truth from me, as well my God mother, her mom and everyone else.

I’m here to tell you that I lost much of my ability to trust. I’m depressed, I’m felling miserable every single day since that labor day of 2011. But I will keep smiling, raising my daughter, making sure she gets the best of me and her father, always.

I will also continue my journey supporting all my real friends, specially my fellow adoptees who seek their truth and the ones that are suffering in orphanages and foster care around the world, scared to death to be kicked out out of the  program and become homeless due to their age. I am committed to raise awareness about it, and specially about us, the ones who society thinks that should be grateful for not being aborted or thrown into a trash can and move on.


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