She's Adopted

They just didn't tell her

How the Real World Sees Adoptees, Adoptive Parents and Birthmothers

on February 3, 2013


In the adoption community there  are tons of conversations about “educating”  the general public about adoption.  Depending on how you are adoption affected, what you think needs to happen will be very different.

Adoptive Parents  want people to accept their families built by adoption  and complain about the stupid questions people ask like  ”Where is her real mother?” There is also many conversations about how the public should respect the birthmothers for being so selfless and brave to make such a courageous choice.  Adoptive parents are the saviors who took in another’s child.

Adoptees are suppose to be happy and grateful that they  were somehow  saved from either ” ending up in an dumpster” or ” from being aborted.  Adoptees are “lucky”. They are suppose to just accept life that they are given and not care about their medical history or the fact that they are discriminated against by the government who denies Adoptee Rights. Adoptees who search  should be “happy with the parents they got” and if they do search, even our government expects them all to turn into stalking identity thieves.

The general public likes to blame the birthmother’s pain on her own irresponsible choices. She is punished for her fertility and the sexual drive that got her pregnant in the first place. I can’t how many times I have heard “well you should have thought of that before you spread your legs”. Our pain at being separated form your children is because we deserved it and, let’s not forget, we all would have abused our kids anyway or lived our poor lives on government assistance.

Basically, unless you are actually adoption affected, and even then, only if you have done your own research and homework, most people have no clue about adoption.

Thanks AGAIN to:


2 responses to “How the Real World Sees Adoptees, Adoptive Parents and Birthmothers

  1. Hannah Ha says:

    I am curious. Would you rather adoptees grew up in institutions rather than with “adoptive parents” so their birth parents can seek them whenever they decide they need them back?

    • Lu Gualberto says:

      Hi Hanna,
      Please see my response to your other comment under my last post “Comfortably Numb on November 26”. It applies to this one as well.
      Thanks again for the opportunity to try to open your eyes to the misconception that an adopted child is somehow better off not knowing they are adopted or that knowing anything about their origins is somehow useless and that they should be happy with what they got. Nothing can be further from the truth Hanna.
      Every person needs to know who they really are and where they came from. Every person should have this basic human right. Have a nice day ❤

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