She's Adopted

They just didn't tell her

What did your adoptive family do to help you settle in and feel like a part of the family (if that happened)?

on November 6, 2013

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Here is a small portion of the post from Lisa, who was introduced to Attempting Agape when she talked a bit about her journey through foster care.

 Continue reading the whole post here  for some first hand answers from an adult who spent some of her formative years in foster care and then went on to be adopted by her last and final foster home.

Thanks for sharing Lisa!

 

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The first thing was the discussion of names. They made it clear that we could change our names if we wanted to. We could change our first name, last name, both or neither. I knew immediately that I wanted to change my last name. I wanted to “belong” and to me that meant we all needed to have the same last name. I think it meant a lot to them too that we all had the same name, but I know they wanted us to feel comfortable with the decision. My brother and I both ended up keeping our original first and middle names and changed our last names to match our parents.

The second thing was the adoption party. My parents threw a huge party celebrating our adoption and welcoming us to the family. All of our relatives from both my mom and dad’s side of the family were there. I got two presents that day that now mean the world to me. My grandmother gave me a bible with a beautiful inscription and the date. And one of my dad’s relatives gave me a bracelet inscribed with my name and the date of my adoption. This dates means a lot to me and even though we don’t really celebrate it, I always call my parents on that day.

The biggest thing was just creating our own family traditions and memories that we still follow and talk about today. There’s the Summer Rain Dance, the Ice Cream Bowl Ceremony, and heart-shaped meatloaf and pink mashed potatoes on Valentine’s Day. There’s the time when my brother ate horseradish sauce for the first time, the time I got a new bike and proceeded to crash into our neighbor’s mailbox and the time we all dressed up in matching shirts to sing Happy Birthday to my dad at work. These are the things that create a family.

Who is Attempting Agape?

I am Alisa.  I happen to be 33 years old and have been doing this foster care thing solo for the past 2.5 years.  I have had so many ups and downs that don’t appear on this blog – but I try to capture the overarching ebb and flow of the life of a single foster parent.  I love photography, coffee and the rare adult conversation (about something other than play-dough).  I also love Jesus, mucho.

I was licensed in June 2010 and desire to love kids from hard places the way that God has loved me, with mercy, grace and truth. It also my hope that this blog could serve as a vehicle to connect all those involved in the foster & adoption world: the parents (birth, foster and adoptive), the children and adults (adoptees and foster alumni) and the social workers involved in the child protection system, both in the US and overseas. Lets keep learning, so we can learn from our mistakes and make it better for the next generation.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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