This video came to me through my Facebook news feed yesterday. Today I’ve decided to watch it one more time thinking that i may have been a bit too over sensitive last night. Result: Tears again.
Here is the post:
“I really wish I could be one of those cool kids who can say awesome things about their birthmothers and/or adoptive mom’s. But I can’t. Rejection hurts really deep some days.
I try to live my life always looking forward, I try not to look back. But some days my heart does nothing but hurt. I was rejected at birth, mistreated and lied to for 40 years and to top that, after I’ve found out about being adopted the “family” turned their back away from me. Completely. There is only one person who stands by. He lied too. And I went through my share of hell being the little sister of an aggressive unruly boy. But he is the only one who still talks to me. He says I’m his sister. But he doesn’t help me to understand why his mother, (my adoptive mom) and her mom and sister and cousins treated me like I was a worthless good for nothing piece of crap.
He doesn’t help me to find out where I came from neither. And just like the rest of the family, he doesn’t see how important it is for me to have something to relate to. Anything that can give me some sense of purpose, belonging.
But I’m not worth the truth.”
You know, I can’t understand how come some people are incapable of loving. I do not know the circumstances of my adoption. I know nothing about my adoptive parents motivation to adopt me. And much less I understand how can a person raise a child and have ZERO affection for that human being.
I’ve tried. I did every thing a child could possibly do to earn affection. I did great in school. I was obedient, nice, stayed away from drugs and alcohol. I followed “the book” accordingly. but that wasn’t enough. I don’t remember one single hug or a kiss on my cheek from my mom until the day I got married. I guess she was relieved that I was going to finally go away.
And my question remains unanswered: ” Why adopt a child if you aren’t willing to raise her as one of your own kids?”
I think this song sums things up pretty good:
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